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Final Destination 5: the horror franchise with no end in sight

Monday, July 18, 2011
Final Destination 5

Like an extreme version of Casualty, the only fun in watching this grisly horror is guessing the gruesome fates of its doomed cast

Why would anyone bother to watch Final Destination 5? After all, everyone already knows how it'll go. There will be a disaster. A handful of improbably attractive twentysomethings will survive the disaster. Death will pick them off one by one in a series of needlessly showy set-pieces. The end. This is what'll happen in Final Destination 5, because it's what happens in all Final Destination films.


Final Destination 5

And yet people will still flock to it. This is because it's fun to guess how all the characters will die. It's like watching a more extreme version of Casualty, where every accident isn't immediately followed by 45 minutes of Charlie Fairhead blinking in a mildly concerned way. Luckily, there's a new trailer for Final Destination 5, which means we can start the guessing games early.

Final Destination 5

Just kidding. He falls off the table and impales himself on all the needles jammed into his face and torso. Who's next?

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